Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
