smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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