You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
