you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Your cock deserves a montage
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
this hospital has no fireball
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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