I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
