Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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