Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just forgot I was standing up.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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