Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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