Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
