hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
