I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
