Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
