Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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