i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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