I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize