Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
