Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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