Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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