My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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