it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My vagina just recognized that song.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
