he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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