FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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