ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
