Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
