You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
