you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Found the puke drawer
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
