I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
