She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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