like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
