I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
