so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
