I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
