big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
