i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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