id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
