I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
