how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
