Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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