Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
