he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
