Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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