I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
