and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
