Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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