My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
