i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
