I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
