fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
