I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
