I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
