What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
