been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Never let your siblings swipe right.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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