she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
