last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just high enough for therapy.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
