Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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