Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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