How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
