I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
