mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
