i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
