I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
