You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
