So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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