WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
