You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
